4.19.2015

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made


There is a beautiful Tulip Magnolia tree in our front yard, tucked right between a Crate Myrtle and a Dog Wood. One of the first trees to bloom announcing spring time, with blossoms in heavenly pink. We had a tree like this at our first home that I have always loved and thus I was thrilled to find out that here at our new home we have one as well. This very tree was chosen as the resting place for our Jamie.

My Father in Law is a great wood craftsman, and he built us a small casket for Jamie. As a rather last minute decision, I decided to decorate the inside in happy colors. I poured all my love into it and to do this for my Little One was a great beginning on my way to find some closure.

For the lid I decided to go with Psalm 139:13-14

"13 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

I can't put my finger on why I chose this one, but it just felt right. Maybe it was because I read it shortly after we miscarried and it brought such comfort to me. Whatever the reason, I know God was guiding me through this.

My parents in law were with us through the whole week - from building the casket on short notice, to delivering it to our house in the rain on the due date, to returning to our home twice until the rain stopped enough for us to bury the Little One, bringing lunches, hugging us, and holding our hands in prayer through our small and personal service. My wonderful husband sang Mark Bishops "I got here as fast as I could" for us.

It was an emotionally long week, but we needed it to find closure. As strange as it may seem to someone looking in from the outside, I feel at peace with it and am glad we followed through and fought to take the remains of our Jamie home. Burials are not for the dead, they are for the living to find closure. I am very grateful to each and every person who went through this with us - from the day we found out until now and even maybe beyond today. We are very blessed with so many wonderful people in our lives - be it near or far away.